Stop This World

Gracefully going from victim to survivor to servant leader in the heartland

Spring is really going fast! So much so that I have not been good about blogging. I started a full-time job last month working with 4-H members and that takes the majority of my time. I absolutely love working with the families and I get to help implement their county fair in July. County fairs are one of my most favorite things.


Thinking about this post of switching gears, I can’t help but think about life growing up on our farm.  I spent most of my time with the animals, but I did get in my fair share of driving tractor for baling and raking hay.  You know what I always had trouble with on the tractor?  Switching gears.  The poor person who was on the hay rack behind me usually suffered dire consequences because I couldn’t switch gears smoothly.  Maybe they would fall off, fall down, or have bales topple on them.  I was definitely not smooth.  Never been good switching gears and am still learning to switch the gears of life smoothly.  I think I need more practice.


There have been a lot of positive changes going on in my life the past few months.  I look at the quote above and I’m happy that I have moved on from broken & helpless. It was important for me to accept that I was broken. I denied that for a long time after my assault. I tried to convince myself & everybody else around me that I was fine. Better than fine actually.  I wanted to portray that the assault hadn’t affected me at all.  In reality, I was absolutely miserable and truly broken. I had never felt the depths of despair quite like that before. I knew that someday I would not feel this way, but I had no clue when. I also had no clue what hard work I would have to do to get better. I had to let myself be broken and accept myself that way. But, I couldn’t let it stop me from healing. The healing didn’t happen on my timeline though. Not even close. I wasn’t expecting 3.5 years of hard work.  I had to accept that season of my life.


So, what does my life look like now? Well, I have been allowing God to open doors for me that I wouldn’t have opened myself.


I started working with a local 4-H program about a month ago. It has been a whirlwind of activity, but I have really enjoyed getting back to something I love and am passionate about. This is only a short-term position, but it has been perfect to get me back to working and accomplishing goals. I could only take so much time off!


I need to really buckle down and find more time to work on my book. I joined a mastermind coaching group in April to help me with writing & publishing my book as well as starting my own company. It is a big dream, but deep down inside I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur. I would just never let myself dream that big. My goal is to get the book written this spring/fall and get it published early in 2019. I’m also starting to strategically look at speaking engagements like at Rotary Clubs and such so that I can start spreading my message of hope & resiliency. My ultimate goal is to be on the public speaking circuit world-wide. I absolutely love public speaking. I just need to get my message down and get polished. I can only do that through practice. So, I’m looking forward to developing my platform through my book, speaking engagements and training seminars. I have a really great team of cheerleaders from friends, family, readers, and Ziglar family, so I’m going to shoot for the stars. It is so exciting!!


Finally, I have decided to take on a venture that never in a million years would I have thought I would take on. I enjoy beauty products and have spent thousands of dollars on different potions and lotions to make my skin look better. Well, I started learning about the products that are in our skincare products and make-up and I was completely floored. I never found the need to look at those ingredients before and I wish that I had. There are so many ingredients that can potentially be hormone disrupters and/or cause severe damage or even cancer.


So, I have joined on to work with BeautyCounter. I had never heard of this company before, but once I started trying their products I was sold. High quality, luxurious products made with safer ingredients. I also like the fact that they are actively advocating on a national level for more regulations in the beauty industry. Now, I’m not typically big on regulations, but there hasn’t been a bill passed about beauty product ingredients since the 1930’s. The time has come to advocate. So, if you want to try out some exceptional beauty products & make-up, take a look at my BeautyCounter website:


So, as you can see I have become very busy. It is time to put into practice all the things that I have promised myself. I need to remember to practice self care, yoga, reading, spending time alone. Those are the first things that have always fallen by the wayside when I have gotten busy. This time I am very aware of how I am balancing my life. It is difficult because I do find great pleasure in my work, but I need balance. I need to set boundaries and be kind to myself.  I’m working on it!


This blog is going to be changing gears as well. I’ve written mainly about my past trauma from the assault and the trial. There is still plenty to write about there, but I’m going to start writing more about my life currently. I’m rebuilding in real time and I look forward to sharing parts of that rebuilding with you. Is it scary not knowing what the future holds? Absolutely, but it I sure exciting too! The Lord has guided me this far and I trust him with my future.  I hope that you will continue on with me on this crazy journey of life.


It is time to switch gears from broken & helpless to growing & healing. I’m ready.



2 thoughts on “Switching Gears

  1. Staci Martin says:

    LOVE IT!! So proud of you!!

    Sent from my iPhone



  2. says:


    You are such an inspiration. Are you available to speak to my Rotary on Tuesday, September 25. We meet in Le Sueur at Noon. It’s an open date on our schedule. Let me know if you are interested.



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